BENDY BANANAS are back, claims Victoria's source (a banana)
As rejoin talk returns, our political editor secures an exclusive with the one fruit that remembers. It would not go on the record.
The source
BB News can reveal that bendy bananas are coming back.
The claim comes from a source with deep knowledge of the matter: a banana. It was interviewed on Westminster Unfiltered this morning, wearing a small microphone, and refused to go on the record.
"Sources close to the fruit bowl tell me the curve is returning. I asked if it was mewing. It said nothing, which, frankly, is more than the Cabinet manages. That's the angle." — Victoria Cheekbone-Smythe
Why now
The real-world story is that the government has promised to set out options for Britain's relationship with Europe around a November UK-EU summit, and that a new referendum is now officially possible one day.
A megapoll of more than 11,000 adults put support for rejoining at 49%, against 28.5%.
This channel's response has been measured. Some of our headlines have used the word betrayal only once each.
The facts about bananas
- Bendy bananas were never banned.
- Our source is itself bendy, and has never once been stopped at a border.
- Victoria asked it three times whether it supports rejoining. It went slightly brown.
PM Dave Beige was asked for comment. He said he was not going to rule anything in or out, then ate the source.
BB News is treating this as an attack on press freedom.
- brexit
- bananas
- westminster-unfiltered
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