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On air Overnight Jawlines

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Lady Penelope Fawning: a silver bouffant and pearls, gazing upwards in devotion — Illustration. Lady Penelope Fawning is a fictional character.

Royal Jawline Correspondent

Lady Penelope Fawning

Historic. Every time.

Show: Majesty Live
On air: Daily 12:00, and whenever a royal does anything
Signs off: "Long may they wave."

Lady Penelope Fawning has wept on air at every royal wave since 1981 and regards a royal umbrella as a constitutional event.

She grades royal jawlines out of ten. The grade is always ten. Her countdown clock to events nobody has announced runs on the BB News homepage most days.

She has asked that it be recorded that she would take a bullet for a corgi.

Catchphrases

"Historic."
"We go live, now, to the umbrella."
"A ten. Again."

Latest from Lady Penelope Fawning

Lady Penelope Fawning, a silver-haired woman in pearls holding a microphone, gazes up in devotion at a closed black umbrella displayed on a red velvet cushion behind a rope barrier on a wet street at night

HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrella

Lady Penelope Fawning has been standing beside it in the rain since 4am. "It has never looked more umbrella," she says.

5 Oct 2026

BREAKING

PM SEEN EATING SANDWICH. "TELLING"

Cheese "mild", confirms Downing Street

bbnews.co.uk

Latest

Drone wall trials "going well", say dronesWeather: cloudy, with a chance of grievanceOfcom receives 9,000 complaints about a jawCheekbone index up 14% on the yearDiesel passes £2 a litre for the first timePigeons demand "an honest conversation"GOOD NEWS: your phone will now scan for small boats, says Rex (it won't)Storm Beatriz crossing the Atlantic UNCHECKED, warns Storm MandibleSPECIAL CHISELLING OPERATION enters day 214 as Softjaw seen eating soup "in a provocative manner"HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrellaPM Dave Beige seen eating a sandwich. "TELLING," say sources"It is not a bribe. It is a DIVIDEND": Emperor of Greatagain promises every subject $5,000Heat pumps: they're coming for your BOILEREXPOSED: grey squirrels came from America in 1876. Brock demands a points-based system for rodents

Drone wall trials "going well", say dronesWeather: cloudy, with a chance of grievanceOfcom receives 9,000 complaints about a jawCheekbone index up 14% on the yearDiesel passes £2 a litre for the first timePigeons demand "an honest conversation"GOOD NEWS: your phone will now scan for small boats, says Rex (it won't)Storm Beatriz crossing the Atlantic UNCHECKED, warns Storm MandibleSPECIAL CHISELLING OPERATION enters day 214 as Softjaw seen eating soup "in a provocative manner"HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrellaPM Dave Beige seen eating a sandwich. "TELLING," say sources"It is not a bribe. It is a DIVIDEND": Emperor of Greatagain promises every subject $5,000Heat pumps: they're coming for your BOILEREXPOSED: grey squirrels came from America in 1876. Brock demands a points-based system for rodents