Diesel hits 200.01p. Rex fills up "for Britain", slowly, on camera

The numbers (these are real)

The average price of a litre of diesel has passed £2 for the first time, reaching 200.01p, according to the RAC. Petrol is at 174.71p. Filling an average family car with diesel now costs almost £110. The record had stood since June 2022.

The response (this is not)

At 17:02, Rex Mandible arrived at a forecourt off the A2, placed one hand on his heart and began to fill a borrowed hatchback one litre at a time, pausing after each for the camera.

"Every litre I put in this car is a litre the Strait of Hormuz can't have. That's how geopolitics works, I think." — Rex Mandible

It took forty minutes. The queue behind him was described by our producer as "not patriotic".

Mew to stay warm

With the energy price cap rising 4% to £1,723 for a typical household from October, BB News has its own advice for the winter:

• Mew. Pressing the tongue to the roof of the mouth generates no heat whatsoever, but you will look tremendous in the cold.
• Stand near Rex. His jaw holds the heat of the studio lights for up to three hours.
• Wear a coat (Brock's tip, filed under protest as "woke").

This segment was brought to you by Rex's Jawline Serum: Take Back Control Of Your Face.

Rex has asked whether the receipt, £109.40, can be claimed as a donation to the nation. Accounts said no.