Ducks open café in Folkestone. Flat whites "suspiciously good"

They came. They saw. They steamed the milk properly.

The cosmic ducks first sighted off Dover have opened a small café on a Folkestone side street. It has nine tables, a chalkboard, and what one regular described as "the best croissant south of the M20".

BB News was there at dawn. Rex Mandible spent the morning with both hands flat against the window, reporting live.

"They are calm. They are polite. They remembered a pensioner's usual. Ask yourself who taught them that." — Rex Mandible

What we know

• The café opens at seven. On time. Every day.
• Oat milk is available, but only if you ask.
• Nobody has been charged for a glass of tap water, which Brock Granite calls "a softening-up operation".

The numbers they don't want you to see

A BB News poll finds 84% of our viewers believe the number of ducks in Folkestone has gone up. The number of ducks is six. It was six last week.

This channel will continue to update viewers on each new wave of scones.

At 10:40 a duck in a small top hat came to the door and offered Rex a croissant. He refused it on air, then ate it during the ad break. The footage is with our lawyers.