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YOUR PHONE WILL NOW SCAN FOR SMALL BOATS

It won't, says everyone except Rex

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Drone wall trials "going well", say dronesWeather: cloudy, with a chance of grievanceOfcom receives 9,000 complaints about a jawCheekbone index up 14% on the yearDiesel passes £2 a litre for the first timePigeons demand "an honest conversation"GOOD NEWS: your phone will now scan for small boats, says Rex (it won't)Storm Beatriz crossing the Atlantic UNCHECKED, warns Gale HartleySPECIAL CHISELLING OPERATION enters day 214 as Softjaw seen eating soup "in a provocative manner"HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrellaPM Dave Beige seen eating a sandwich. "TELLING," say sources"It is not a bribe. It is a DIVIDEND": Emperor of Greatagain promises every subject $5,000Heat pumps: they're coming for your BOILEREXPOSED: grey squirrels came from America in 1876. Brock demands a points-based system for rodents

Drone wall trials "going well", say dronesWeather: cloudy, with a chance of grievanceOfcom receives 9,000 complaints about a jawCheekbone index up 14% on the yearDiesel passes £2 a litre for the first timePigeons demand "an honest conversation"GOOD NEWS: your phone will now scan for small boats, says Rex (it won't)Storm Beatriz crossing the Atlantic UNCHECKED, warns Gale HartleySPECIAL CHISELLING OPERATION enters day 214 as Softjaw seen eating soup "in a provocative manner"HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrellaPM Dave Beige seen eating a sandwich. "TELLING," say sources"It is not a bribe. It is a DIVIDEND": Emperor of Greatagain promises every subject $5,000Heat pumps: they're coming for your BOILEREXPOSED: grey squirrels came from America in 1876. Brock demands a points-based system for rodents