Satire. BB News is a parody — nothing here is real news.

On air Overnight Jawlines

--:--:-- UK

News

Rex Mandible in a navy suit holds his smartphone out at arm's length towards a white swan pedalo carrying a puzzled elderly couple on a park boating lake

GOOD NEWS: your phone will now scan for small boats, says Rex (it won't)

Device-level child safety rules are coming. BB News heard the word "scan" and immediately pointed its phone at a boating lake.

5 Oct 2026

Storm Mandible, a weatherman with a towering quiff, pointing at a studio weather map showing a huge Atlantic storm and red arrows over Britain while rain lashes the window

Storm Beatriz crossing the Atlantic UNCHECKED, warns Storm Mandible

Foreign rain, foreign wind and a name "nobody in Kent voted for". Our weatherman's quiff does not move.

5 Oct 2026

Brick-built diorama: a chinless figure in a paper crown and grey cardigan calmly eats soup at a kitchen table while a square-jawed war correspondent in a flak jacket crouches behind a brick wall pointing at him in alarm

SPECIAL CHISELLING OPERATION enters day 214 as Softjaw seen eating soup "in a provocative manner"

Recessia's Supreme Chancellor was filmed with a spoon. Our man embedded behind a low wall says the soup "sent a message".

5 Oct 2026

A man with crown-shaped golden hair stands at a gold podium outside a gold palace in a swamp while a gold cannon fires coins over a crouching press pack and alligators snap at the coins

"It is not a bribe. It is a DIVIDEND": Emperor of Greatagain promises every subject $5,000

The Emperor pledges cash to every adult if his side wins the midterms. Rex Mandible calls it "the most generous thing anyone has ever promised".

5 Oct 2026

A golden rubber duck in a top hat typing on a laptop on a shingle beach

"They're taking our debugging jobs": duck fixes council website in nine minutes

Local IT department "furious" after eight-year backlog cleared before lunch.

5 Oct 2026

BREAKING

PM SEEN EATING SANDWICH. "TELLING"

Cheese "mild", confirms Downing Street

bbnews.co.uk

Latest

Drone wall trials "going well", say dronesWeather: cloudy, with a chance of grievanceOfcom receives 9,000 complaints about a jawCheekbone index up 14% on the yearDiesel passes £2 a litre for the first timePigeons demand "an honest conversation"GOOD NEWS: your phone will now scan for small boats, says Rex (it won't)Storm Beatriz crossing the Atlantic UNCHECKED, warns Storm MandibleSPECIAL CHISELLING OPERATION enters day 214 as Softjaw seen eating soup "in a provocative manner"HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrellaPM Dave Beige seen eating a sandwich. "TELLING," say sources"It is not a bribe. It is a DIVIDEND": Emperor of Greatagain promises every subject $5,000Heat pumps: they're coming for your BOILEREXPOSED: grey squirrels came from America in 1876. Brock demands a points-based system for rodents

Drone wall trials "going well", say dronesWeather: cloudy, with a chance of grievanceOfcom receives 9,000 complaints about a jawCheekbone index up 14% on the yearDiesel passes £2 a litre for the first timePigeons demand "an honest conversation"GOOD NEWS: your phone will now scan for small boats, says Rex (it won't)Storm Beatriz crossing the Atlantic UNCHECKED, warns Storm MandibleSPECIAL CHISELLING OPERATION enters day 214 as Softjaw seen eating soup "in a provocative manner"HISTORIC: royal seen holding umbrella. We go live to the umbrellaPM Dave Beige seen eating a sandwich. "TELLING," say sources"It is not a bribe. It is a DIVIDEND": Emperor of Greatagain promises every subject $5,000Heat pumps: they're coming for your BOILEREXPOSED: grey squirrels came from America in 1876. Brock demands a points-based system for rodents